Through wintered forest I come upon deep pools,
each one a beautiful darkness, each one deep in their wonderment.
I could lose myself so happily in these waters and succumb to the blissful purity
of the unknown, but the forest holds my attention.
Lazily I drift along dirt tracks worn and traveled by poetic musings;
there is no signpost, no goal, only the simple experience of nature’s creation.
Bare hands run heavy upon snowy branches,
each cold protrusion an inspiration, a chance to begin anew.
Every branch is a line to be written, a verse to be recited.
Unique to their finder, yet well known to us all.
The snow begins to fall again, rejuvenating the branches
unburdened by my touch.
While in awe of this spectacle I come upon imprinted footstep,
newly formed in betrayal of individual sanctum.
Ahead of me an old lady shuffles along this freshly laid carpet,
veiled in the reflection of her time.
I pause to take a moment of my own.
Lost in my thoughts and with no course of action,
the old lady drifts from my vision
as the snows collect on my shoulders.
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3 Comments
Very picturesque and well written. I’m not a poet, and don’t often understand the stuff. But this seems to have a nice balance of internal thoughts blended with external imagery that were woven-together very nicely. It was very “readable.”
I had commented in an earlier post about the differences between poetry and songwriting, and this is exactly the sort of “pure” poetry I meant. Pure poetry doesn’t have to rhyme or adhere to a syllable count in order to work. This poem has a nice pace that slows the reader down and brings them into the writer’s world, and then pulls them along gradually into a mini plot-line when the old lady arrives. I think that a lot of thought and craft went into writing this poem.
I can only find fault in it’s passive ending (…snows collect on my shoulders.) After explaining with awe and wonder what you were feeling, I think it needed to resolve with something more conclusive. Something that defines what we’ve just been reading. Or perhaps the passive ending was a way to pull the reader back from the scene? There are no right or wrong answers about art– just opinions.
I think it’s still a very nice poem!
JPD
i have to agree with JPD this is a wonderful poem i was taken and swept away when reading it.my soul some how felt calm as it seemed i was drifting into a blissful dream
but in that trance i was somehow dragged into no where, wither or not i understood the full meaning of this poem. i feel somehow the ending is not as it should be. its as if i was stopped in my tracks. in the middle of this beautiful sonnet, a brick wall appeared out of now where. and am left me to wonder. wither or not that was your intesion i am unsure as to what you were trying to say with that line.
but still it was a beautifully written.
Hey guys, thanks for the responses, it’s always nice to know what people take out of poetry. This poem was a while in the works and for what I was personally writing about, I feel the ending is quite apt. That’s not to say I’m telling you how to feel when reading it, I love when people take different things from poetry.
Anyway, I feel I should explain this poem a bit. JPD was pretty close with ‘internal thoughts blended with external imagery’. The poem is about my writing process and my depression (which I struggle with sometimes) masquerading as a nature poem. The snow in the poem represents problems/issues that are unresolved within. For that reason I personally feel the ending is suitable, but then I probably have a slight bias!
I don’t want to explain the poem all too much as that’ll detract from what people can individually take from it, but maybe with that little insight to the poem you may feel the ending isn’t as unsuitable? I dunno, perhaps you think it’s even more unsuitable now! That’s the fun of poetry, the interpretations! Thanks again for the responses and I’m glad you liked it.
-Ross