III

 

She smiled.

Golden; shinning an endless brilliance

Of happiness. The little hope still stored

In me dropped faster than doubtfulness.

 

They smiled at each other.

I felt my soul tearing apart because

Those smiles, beautiful and lost to me now-

Were once all mine.

 

Even though now I can see that his smiles were rather

Cunning and charming and deceiving did not change

The fact that they were once all that I had.

All that I had.

 

I don’t know where I went wrong

That Derek would seek out another.

Was I not perfect to his every want? And need?

Was I not what he dreamt of?

 

I cried because I couldn’t remember

The last time I had seen Derek truly smiled.

I stood there and watched the corner of his eyes crinkling.

My heart tearing apart as I question the whys.

 

She pulled him in laughing.

Her sunny laughter echoed behind my disdainful features.

I sat on the floor deep in thought;

My mind tried to untwine his perpetual deceptions.

 

Time was of no significant

For my mind was blanker than a piece of paper.

The lines and margin disappeared.

No not printer paper. I know.

 

My mind, heaven forefend, is losing its wits.

Hope—I have lost.

For past times, I have developed vagabond habits

 That has interwoven with my melancholy moods.

 

I waited.

I pretended to count the lines on the floor.

I pretended that the tears streaming

Down my face gently wasn’t me really crying.

 

I sat there.

Waited and waited.

Almost asleep, the door opened.

She steps out—shamelessly smiling.

 

She came out with sizzling red hair.

Her long middle finger supported a ring

That looked slightly familiar.

She took the elevator.

 

I waited some more to make sure

There were no chances of her coming back

Before I move predatorily toward the

Unavoidable altercation.

 

I knocked.

My knock was still for my heart,

My retched heart was pounding louder

Than glass shattering to a squealing pitch

 

He opened the door smiling.

His smiled drew rigid; his eyes popped open when he saw who it was.

He stared at me, noticing my teary eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

 

He stole my question.

I looked in his eyes and realized how cold

And angry they were.

He motioned me in and slammed the door after me.