I

The sky has a way of reflecting inner truth

That when it darkens and cries zealous thunder

I know, it knows the emotion boiling inside of me

As I follow Derek to 1985 Walton Street.

I was hoping my endless suspicious would soon

Lean toward a nascent confirmation.

I watched him; blending myself within the nights’ shadows as

Nocturnal animals lurked behind my fathom wrath.

Ten years, nine months, eight hours, and two seconds

I have shared my unconditional time with Derek, only to find

Two months, three days, five hours, and twenty seconds

I have waited to find out Derek’s motives and conspiracy-

The late night phone calls,

The shimmering whispers as I appeared

The secret corner upward lifts of his lips and eyes,

When he thinks I’m not watching him.

I trusted him.

Never questioned him for all times, only to find just one

Lingering answer he gave me once has opened

A can of hungry worms, patiently waiting to feed upon

His fleshly lies covering me like truth.

Trust built a great wall around my heart,

For all his cunning smiles, his chivalrous laugh

Bounced of me back to him, feeding him

Resilience to treat me the way he did.

I heard whispers, I heard telling

But I washed them off like I wash my hands of

My families who have told me Derek was no good.

Derek was good; Derek was best at playing me for a fool.

I followed him since his last phone call.

He told me he’d be working late.

He patched the way for me so smoothly

 That I blended with his dirty conscience.

I parked about a block behind him.

The alley screamed with mischief,

While the screeching wind blew my hair,

My hands were dipped into my pocket and I followed.

My days are cold and the nights colder.
Inside of me there’s a hatred that warms me,
A blanket at night keeping me alive
Children walking barefooted are heavy thuds
Sinking in my heart, lost and forgotten, Atlantis—
I still believe; hope still shimmers in distance.

A serrated knife cutting bones, a screwdriver
Stuck between a fence-assembling machine
Are just sounds in tune with my broken heart.
But thoughts of your smiles bring me back
Closer to salvation; a fading light, I can almost reach.

If I could smile I would, but I think I forgotten:
To spread my lips and shine my eyes. Darkness
Surrounds my cornea; Somehow it cannot interpret
The light shinning, for there is evil at every
Corner I turn-a child is found dead.

It’s such a sadistic state where I reside. Its partner
Pretends to rove the face of earth for justice,
When it shadows injustice and vice tighter than
A Boa constrictor suffocating its prey.
Your eyes give hope for freedom, so close yet so far.

A French bread molded with imps crawling on my skin
While I battle the line between reality and fantasy
Is just the daily dose of my unruliness amnesia.
Sometimes I wish for eternal sleep- an ending
Of all things; endless memories finally at rest.

But when I think of you-I am at start.
You are my sanity, for insanity is closer and
Sweeter than heaven. For in this world that
I am clouded in, unresolved issue and decision left
Astray brews a storm bigger than 1935 hurricane.

At times, I don’t know where you are but I know you.
And those memories, endless memories that they are,
Keep me dreaming and silently praying. When it gets so cold
At night, thoughts of you warm me like an electric blanket.
For a moment, my eyes smile but deep inside I sill weep.

Secretly yours and primeval beat,
Our virgin bodies are preceding production.
Skins generating indispensable heat,
An artistic cadence of vital seduction.
Touch, smell, and kiss- my soul is complete.
Feel the lines and curves as an introduction
An open valley, come, no need to be discreet.
I want everyone to know the suction
Your kisses derives of my mind, let us replete
The endless strokes, which broke an artist’s construction
A public performance, our love is a treat.