People Leaving
Written by WritingSugar
Daddy left
So much to be said
But my teeth had scatter my tongue so poorly
A goodbye wasn’t even tempted
Nothing came out; I stood there and didn’t even fight
To say the words that had been slowly prepared
Two nights ago when I tripped over his yellow suitcase
Shame still follows me home,
Its intensity became my fame
Disgrace—my reflection likes to hurl at me
A dagger would be a smoother pain
Because when it happened
My young heart was frayed out my flat chest
On the floor left to bleed
Bit dramatic but true, I had to wipe the mess
The drastic realization when I dropped the knife
My wrist slowly bleeding, of course it had to be slow
So I can think about my actions
The loneliness slowly creeping behind me
Waiting and dancing to the ‘Saddest goodbye’
Momma left
So much to say but
The beginning has shattered my speech
You would think that I learned
But the pain, greater than before stopped me
I wanted to reach out, asked the reasons why
When she took her bags, my young feet stalking
Closer than her shadow,
My knees scratched from crawling on the floor
Begging and pledging, that was the first and last time I begged
I left
My childhood dreams and hopes
Crumbing more than bread crumbs
I cried- the last time I cried
My eyes stood clear and bright
The sun compare to me, was such a wasteful shame
But deep instead, in the corner of what’s left of my broken
Heart, people are always leaving.


This post has 4 comments
June 3rd, 2009
This is pretty and painful, Sugar. What would you have said– the words you spent two days preparing to say that you never said?
U mind me asking?
June 4th, 2009
Thank You.
Daddy, I love.
I promise to be good and behave myself.
I promise to say out of trouble and always listen to you.
Daddy, please don’t leave.
June 4th, 2009
U tryin’ to make me cry? It worked…
I was a dad who left– moved out, went to live somewhere else. My youngest son was four years old at the time. His birthday was the following weekend. He helped me pack the U-haul moving truck because he wanted to help.. and wanted to spend his time with his dad.
You are not at fault because your dad left. I understand your feelings, though. You wanted to fix the problem. Make it better. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, and is actually something to be very PROUD of.
I don’t have any good answers for you tonight, Sugar. Thank you for sharing a few words along the way.
J
June 12th, 2009
I know the feeling