If Only
Written by jpd
Posted on July 03rd, 2009 in Other
She comes around again
Like creeping ivy, she spreads
My heart deluged by our ceaseless rain
Wet with expectation
Climbing over the stone walls
Over the fractured granite of my heart
Planting deep roots within my spine
And wet blossoms upon my eye
She comes to me
With cautious laughter
Sparkling with joy, and dappled
With dark subtleties
A feverish heart
Clutching at my very soul
Relinquishing me
Abandoning me when her moods strike
As I die
Able and eager and willing
To dance brightly amid her fickle raindrops
If only
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This post has 2 comments
July 6th, 2009
“My heart deluged by our ceaseless rain”. This line creates an image of broken heart and ‘cry me a river’ theme. When I read that line, my mind produce a never ending rain flooding a beating heart, with every drop the beating of the heart faints. I can see a couple, fighting and crying out their hearts.
I say this was your best written poem so far; you kept a poetic imagery structure from beginning to end. You have chosen words to go hand in hand that normally we wouldn’t think of putting together to create a picture of words but such is the thing with poetry. When I read this, I saw it, instead of feeling. The pictures were first then the feeling of what you were trying to portray came second.
In the end it was easy to understand this poem, easy to understand the possibilities if only you had a chance, if only this was real.
July 6th, 2009
Thanks- this poem was the flip-side of “wind swept love” (gone she goes) I’m glad that you were able to see the imagery rather than just read the words. (I hate poems that make a person reach for a thesaurus!)
I’m glad that you liked it. Thank you.