Devil’s Night in Victory
Written by oolu
[Tonight's the night - October 30th: Devil's Night. At midnight, it'll all finally be resolved. Let's get going, Bryan. Your hair doesn't have to look THAT good!]
Bryan looked around his room, trying to memorize what it looked like and hoping that everything would be the same when he returned. He shut off his light and left his room, making sure to close the door behind him and went downstairs. His intended path ran that-a-way, toward the front door but he veered off into the kitchen, stopping for a moment to reach into the fridge for a drink and the last of his ammunition. He then slipped into his most comfortable runners and headed outside.
[Don't forget to shut the gate, Bryan!]
He paused with his hand on the cold, wrought-iron fence entryway as it softly clicked its locking mechanism behind him and took one long, slow, deliberate breath - I N and O U T and watched the condensation of his breath melt away, before stepping away from his house and turning left out onto Decker Street. He hadn’t yet walked three blocks before he saw Pete coming around the corner with an overstuffed canvas bag on his back; Bryan could only imagine the arsenal that Pete was packing in there. They said nothing to one another but nodding a greeting, they fell in line and proceeded toward Victory Park - the Town Square in which the battle would take place.
Crossing the Town Hall gardens, Bryan began to feel slightly anxious. Every shadow seemed deliberately placed, every rustle of a tree’s leaves conspired against him to do their best to make him jump just a little and feel a bit more on edge. He cautiously entered the park and ducked behind the stone fountain at it’s head, squinting in the partial darkness, trying his best to determine where his enemies lay and from which direction the attack would come.
[I spy with my little eye... something that is...]
Suddenly - a movement. A glinting of the street light, reflected from something metallic… a coin, a key… a tooth? Bryan stuck his head out just an inch more to try to determine what it could have been. Without warning, something whizzed by his head and struck just behind him with a thud and a crack. A voice from across the park yelled, “ATTAAAACK!!” and the battle was on. The minutes felt like hours as volley upon volley was flung at and around him, striking his comrades and missing others while Bryan ran from spot to sweet sheltered spot, trying desperately to avoid being hit by a projectile and still fire shots with deadly accuracy. He took a hit in the leg just as he was about to dive behind the safety of a bush. Losing his footing, he slipped, landing hard on his right shoulder and rattling his brain around in his skull like a tiny peanut in its shell.
As he lay dazed on the ground, he looked up to see a boy striding toward him with a weapon in his hand. Bryan began to fret - thinking, prone as he was, that this was to be his end. Now his enemy was standing right above him, staring coldly into Bryan’s eyes as if searching his soul but finding nothing worth redeeming. As the boy cocked his arm back and took aim, Bryan opened his mouth as if to say something - anything - that might stop this madness but the sound was choked and stopped abruptly as his enemy began to speak. “It’s nothing personal,” he said to Bryan with an eerie calmness and a glint in his eye. “It’s just revenge.”
[Swing low, sweet chariot... coming for to take me hoooome...]
The fog swirled around him. It danced like a gypsy, swaying toward him, then away - scattering now, only to coalesce anew in fantastic luminescence. Slowly, s l o w l y, it began to clear from his head and he groggily looked around, noticing for the first time since the battle began, the gooey substance practically blanketing the ground all around the town square. Boys lay scattered everywhere, some groaning in pain, others laying still. Strugling, Bryan rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up, using first his arms and knees, then finally up and onto his feet and began to shamble home.
[A few more steps now and you'll have escaped that scene entirely Bryan and with naught but a few pieces of spent shells in your hair and that welt on your forehead. Watch out for the cops!]
Bryan’s ears perked up as they caught the faint auditory whiff of approaching sirens. Rounding the corner onto Helm St, the gruesome view of the park finally gone, having been obscured and replaced by Mrs. Wesley’s Flower Shoppe, he picked up his pace and chuckled as he mused to himself, “Man! This is SO gonna go down in history as the Greatest Egg Fight EVER!”

This post has 5 comments
March 24th, 2009
This is fabulous writing! You should be submitting stuff like this to publishers. This is not a work in progress– this a polished short-short story that is DONE and awaiting publication.
FYI- My opinion doesn’t count for much– I’m just a hack who writes comments on the internet. But I also share my opinions.
I loved this particular bit of wordplay: “thinking, prone as he was…” Also the “auditory whiff of sirens.” I love that Mrs. Wesley’s shop is a flower “Shoppe.” Every word in this piece is the right word positioned in the right place, with the proper tense, and each word was additive to the story you are telling.
This was clearly a FUN story for you to write– it was also a FUN story to read.
With all due respect to Heavenskyy.com, you should be looking towards mainstream publication. Just my opinion.
jpd (he sports no credentials himself, but leaves behind a track-record of abject failure in his wake)
March 25th, 2009
Wow this is good… Not really into the topic itself and but the grammar structure lol I see what you mean jpd…I agree with jpd, every word seems to be in the right place to create the right sense. I wish it was easy as sending your material to a publisher, without worrying about an agent, a SASE, and all the other rules and guidelines they have posted everywhere. But it’s always better to start sooner than later…
March 27th, 2009
What’s a SASE? I’ve never thought about publishing anything. I just like to write. This story was written for a friend of mine who had decided to put together a little zine last Haloween. She asked for any piece that related to Haloween in some way, so I produced this. I’ve only got a few short stories and I think this is the best of them so far.
Do you guys know of any places that are looking for independent writers to subit material for publication (and hopefully payment)? How would I even start looking for publishing?
March 28th, 2009
SASE is self-addressed stamped envelope, which 99% of publisher requires you to have with your submission before they can even accept your piece. The reason for it is so they can mail your submission back to you if it is not approve. Usually any material that they receive without SASE they assume that you no longer want it and they throw it out. It’s a tough industry out there…I know one person who been trying to get publish for 10 years now. Finally given up on publishing company, he went into self-publishing. There are a lot of authors who started out self-publishing and once the big shark noticed they were doing well they brought their stuff. The truth sometimes concerning publisher is that it doesn’t matter rather you can write good or not, if your story is good and can ‘sell’ then they will publish you. They say your first and second book is about the big dollars, after that once you accomplish your audience and sales, the company might let you writer other genre. Many of my favorite authors all started writing for HQ (Romance Novel) and I believe they’re the second major publishing company that publish more then 1000 books a year and makes so much money. I was surprise at first, but then realize we all have to start somewhere don’t we.
March 28th, 2009
I think heaven skyy publish book or something, I don’t know, I think I read it in their about page but you’ll have to ask them.