When I envisioned my life this is not how I pictured it to be
Struggling each day, fighting without cause
When I envisioned love I never envisioned you
The sparkle in your eyes, that turns red with rage,
At the sight of distress
When I envision my self, I didn’t expect to be so torn
Lost to the world, wondering each day where I went wrong,
Wishing tomorrow things will change.
If life is never what we plan, then why we do continue to make
Plans, would it not be wise to take life as it comes with no expectations?
Then we cannot be disappointed by the outcome of things to come.
I put no trust in any hands, I fear for my heart as times passes,
I fear the future if it does not strengthen,
I can go to sleep at night knowing tomorrow will be a chance for Change,
But change will not come until I have changed
No love resides in me, no joy or sprite,
just anger and sorrow and fright,
Welled in my chest is the need for release,
lost trying to find peace
The journey today seems longer
The clouds darker;
The trees stripped of their leaves
Stood bare, weeping sorrows of
A broken yesterday,
The road today seems uneven and rougher
The wind feels colder
The numbness in my cheeks
No longer tingle with sweet sensation
The wind sweeps its bitter vengeance
Like a plague on a cold winter night.
In the distance surrounded by darkness
A girl weeps Continue reading →
She came to me last night.
In the midst of my troubles;
When all is forgotten; when I lost hope,
When given up was etched in my soul.
She came to me.
In the gist of my troubles;
She comforted my fear; conquered my thoughts;
And took away my tears.
She warned me.
She warned me of the false
Occurrences within my essence.
She came to me.
Had I forgotten her too soon?
Had I lost all hope?
Lost the desire that had set me on this path?
She came to me.
My soul felt comforter wrapped tightly
To heal the wounds within me
And give me all that I had lost.
Time has passed and somewhere
On the brink of letting go
She came to me.
The need to cry at the whisper of her name
Still burns inside of me.
Had I been there when she needed me-
Would things have changed?
Would I be holding her today?
Would she have comforted me?
If I’d have been there,
Would things have changed?
Would I be where I wanted to be?
With whom I wanted to be with?
Am I dreaming dreams of misguided faith?
Has she been my protector all these years?
If I would have been there,
Would things have changed?
Every Christmas she would be there, every Christmas her name was written on every Christmas card to me. This year things have changed. No matter how hard I try I could never forget
Your love was unconditional, now that you’re not here teardrop fills my eyes. I miss you
In loving memory of Gabriella Nagy.
Her hands shook to shattered memories of the night;
As bottled emotions released dreams to nightmares…
A hand reaches out of the darkness—pulls her in;
A desperate plea from fear, taunts her name
Did you hear it?
entangled between bodies of lies and deceits
The rapid motion of her heart beating
With the uncontrollable intent to flee
Her everlasting struggles are nowhere near
The freedom surging within her… still fighting-
Her tears begins to embarks on its journey,
Desperation, tugs at her hopeless heart—yearning
Freedom at last, tasted bittersweet
Gathering left over pieces of the past
The journey home, was long awaited
Solitude at last, her tears twirled like the wind,
Freely with bitter cause. Her anger surged within her veins
As dread and anger takes over,
In the shower, the water flows collectively
With her tears shaping her future.
Pictures of moments captured are repeating
In an ancient beat, never-ending
Alone.
She looked up, the water dripping
Each droplet ravaged her shivering soul
Her heart aches, Trapped in the moment,
No release
Her world now a dark and desolate place
Confusion plagues her mind feverishly
While she curls herself into a fetal position,
Like a new born baby, seeking refuge
Her Fears playing a harsh lullaby
Rocking her further into the darkness
The scent of nightmare
Entangles in her ebony hair,
The horrid taste plagues her tongue
Taking a permanent home within her
Tears flow rapidly,
Dreams into nightmares
Her heart breaks
Praying,
Hoping for release.
I love you…
But you don’t love me
I want to be over you,
But you won’t let me
I pray for the day,
That I’m set free
The day your love
Has no hold over me