I use to dream about a time in my life where the world would reward me for all the good I tried to do. I kept my chin up and kept hope alive that even in the darkest of days I would one day have an answer to why I am so alone. I was always told that good guys finish last, and I was a shining example of that; always taking people with the worst dealt hands I could find and providing them with a stepping stone out of the pit which was their lives. I had never known that by doing so, someday a person strong enough with the one thing I was missing could find me, and pull me out of my own pit, the pit called loneliness. I’ve had issues and things to hold me back in my life, I’ve had troubles and fears, I couldn’t imagine even trying to compile the fears; but there is no need at all anymore. For being who I am, has brought me you, my perfect dream come true.
And as the days goes by,
No reason to ever ask why,
For the happy days are here,
Shaping my vision crystal clear,
I know what’s in my heart,
A key which shall never depart,
The path which has imbued,
Each thought to forever include,
The light you’ve brought to me,
And the beautiful smile I see,
Each time I look in your eyes,
The wonderful surprise,
It simply all began,
Simply being who I am,
In return it has brought me you,
My perfect dream come true.
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5 Comments
I think this is truly an amazing poem I can relate to it from beginning to end; I like the speech in the beginning and how it flows into the body of the poem. I like that you kept the same tempo throughout the poem. The way I read it was very slow and soft; I didn’t get lost or lose the rhythm reading it. The transition from dark to light (sad to happy) was also very well done.
I agree with KaremelKandi…
I like how you started with an explanation almost a prose and went into a poem.
The format and layout of the piece looks wonderfull..
I know what you mean about loniless…at times we all exprience loniless…sometimes in a room full of millions or so called friends…
I like both parts– we all reveal ourselves with the words we chose– and to compare these two sections is actually pretty cool to do (I think!)
Section I- Compiling the data. Analysis and background. All of it very well written and flowing smoothly. Society approves and is glad to hear of your suffering. That’s because society is NOT your friend! Society wants you to fail, and you will never measure-up because they will keep raising the hurdles in your life along the way.
Section II- The person you ARE. The dreams you hold dearest. The things that matter to you the most. It is the counter-argument to Section I. The affirmation of yourself– of your value and worth– that was there the entire time while you were chasing after Section I….
Did my remarks make sense at all? They were intended to be overwhelmingly positive remarks, but now I worry and wonder if I rushed out my reply too quickly.
What I mean is that all of the phrases in Section I– “I used to dream” or “I kept my chin up” or “I was always told” — they are all comparing your life to societies’ whims, and not to anything true or concrete in the actual world.
That’s what I meant when I said “society is glad to hear of your suffering.”
I hope this didn’t come across poorly!
Thank you everyone, I have many, many such poems written; perhaps I will share another soon
I don’t think any comments are poorly expressed or written in any way but from the self, and that is always a very positive thing 